I had an interesting chat at work with a student who was submitting her thesis to be classified as passed. We were talking about process…how we had changed as people doing the Phd, learned a lot about ourselves, discovered resilience and strength we didn’t know we had and also that each stage had been different, even at the end.
Because I haven’t been writing as much as I want recently, it made me think of about three or four things to write about. Just the conversation for starters…her main point was that it was the end of a chapter in her life. Something I strongly felt at the time too. And how strange and daunting it can be to be faced with a blank page…new chapter yet to be written.
I said words to her that three or four months ago, certainly last year, I never thought I would hear myself say. “There are parts of the process and the way my life was then that I miss.” So much has shifted in my life in the last 6 months…and when those words came out of my mouth I realised that they were true.
Being a PhD graduate has different expectations attached. I honestly don’t know what I want to do now (except have a holiday). I am more confident. I have more to give to my friends and family and can be less selfish with my time and energy.
Yet there are imperceptible feelings swimming under the surface that I can’t quite figure out…perhaps it is just the challenge of the “new life” versus the known. For now, the blank page and I are mutually wary and I am learning to live with uncertainty, unknowing…and freedom. It was what it was…now it’s something else.
Michelle Gibson on Decisions, decisions… fragmentsofmynewlife on Life 2.0 plant strong librari… on Life 2.0 fragmentsofmynewlife on Boundaries vs walls Michelle Gibson on Boundaries vs walls