It has certainly felt like that this week! I keep reminding myself of this…without change we would not grow. It keeps things from stagnating and helps me to move forward.
I still struggle with the post-PhD blues. Silly though I know it to be…since I graduate on 31 May! More than ten years since I thought about starting this PhD I will finally cross the stage and be given the title “Doctor”. I used to visualise that when I was working on finishing the thesis. I have two friends flying from interstate on the day to be there. I am blessed with the friends and family I have – and all of the support I have been given through this journey! Perhaps what is getting to me is that it is the end of the journey, and I don’t know what it means. I am still proud of myself and what I have achieved. Neither of my supervisors can be there and I will catch up with them when they are both back in the country.
Some days…just for a moment…it feels like graduation is one more thing I have to do. And at times I can’t be bothered with any of it. That feels strange, but it is honestly how I feel. I know I will not feel like that on the day. Dad asked me this week if we were going to dinner afterwards. Another thing to organise. My principal supervisor emailed and said when she is back we will talk about turning it into a book. That feels way too overwhelming a task to contemplate with the workload I have at the moment.
Time to stop and count some blessings…I have good friends who make me laugh and I enjoy being with, I have a job (and a payrise coming), the cats have been enjoying snuggles, a good friend had a better than anticipated prognosis from the specialist and his treatment is working, in two weeks I get to see two of my friends who I haven’t been able to hug in months (one of who recently got married), my travel savings account is slowly growing, Dad has not been well but seems to be getting better…and someone mowed my front lawn for me. I suspect one of my neighbours!
Now I am going to face the blank pieces of paper and write down what I have to do…new challenges await…